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Now, panel, how will the U.S. distinguish itself? Maz Jobrani.

MAZ JOBRANI: We will finally reform our immigration laws and allow only fat Mexicans to come in, regaining our status as number one fattest place in the world.


SAGAL: Amy Dickinson.

AMY DICKINSON: We still have a lot to be proud of because we still lead the world in periodontal disease.


SAGAL: Awesome. And Paula Poundstone.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: We're no longer number one in obesity, but don't you worry, we'll get it back.


CARL KASELL ANNOUNCER: Well, if the United States does any of those things, panel, we'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!


SAGAL: Thank you, Carl Kasell. It's so wonderful to have you back with us. Carl Kasell, better than ever.



SAGAL: Thanks also to Paula Poundstone, Amy Dickinson, Maz Jobrani. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal and we will see you next week.



SAGAL: This is NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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