How did you build your village? We asked NPR's audience this question in our newsletter in January, inspired by Life Kit's interview with Priya Parker on how to create community.
The key is to start imagining the community you might want to live in and then take steps to make that a reality, says Parker, a conflict resolution facilitator and the author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters.
Many of our readers have done just that. We received dozens of responses from folks who've found creative ways to make lasting connections where they live.
One person said he'd gotten closer to his neighbors by hosting a weekly coffee date. Another strengthened her network of mom friends by organizing a night out. One man grew a garden in his front lawn just to have something to talk about with passersby.
Here's a sampling of village-building activities from our readers. These have been edited for length and clarity.
Throw a party for your neighbors (and get their contact info)
I live in a cul-de-sac with about 20 homes. We organized a Memorial Day cookout, invited the neighbors and requested their contact information. We have used the information to check in during power outages and weather events, like tornadoes. It helps us feel more connected to our neighbors, many of whom we would not know otherwise. — Linda Ray Miller
Find comforting ways to help out during hard times
I grew up in a tight-knit Southern neighborhood where people just seemed to know what to do in times of trouble. If there was a major illness, a death in the family or any other difficult situation, the freezer-friendly meals, offers to babysit and cards of condolences would flood in. Everyone stepped up to make those who were struggling feel less alone and take burdens off their plate. — Annie Lerner Smithson
Invite neighbors out for coffee and conversation
We have a wonderful new café in town, and I've been hosting a weekly table where I invite two neighbors to come and have coffee and conversation. It is now more important than ever to reach out to those who may not share our views, so that when a big tree branch falls across our driveway, we're going to feel comfortable enough to go down the road and ask to borrow a chain saw. — Christopher Irion
Grow a garden as a springboard for small talk
I had a very small front yard of grass and formal landscaping. I removed them and planted bulbs, perennials and blueberries. This gives my neighbors something to be interested in and something for us to talk about. It also motivated my immediate neighbors to plant flowers. — Friday Ululani
Make the mom village you wish you could have
When my daughter was young, we noticed another child at her day care who seemed to have a similar personality. We sent a note home asking if they wanted a play date and have since become very good friends with that family.
A few months later, I was chatting with a few moms during day care pickup and suggested a night out for a drink. One of the moms literally gave me a hug! Six of us [now regularly] go out for "mom's night out." We've even got the dads going out for trivia once a month as well.
I'm so glad I didn't stop at one mom friend and opened up my circle and created a village! — Emily Johnston
Share what makes you happy
My daughter died a couple of years ago and I needed to have some sort of purpose to live.
With a bit of meditation, I realized what had always made me happy in life: sharing food, stories, music, art and games.
This is what I've begun to do. I started with potlucks. Then potlucks with an open mic. We've gone on to gathering around the fire with instruments and stories, bowling once a week and attending the local girls' roller derby.
I started with just four couples, and now [the group numbers] 24. I expect this spring's/summer's potlucks will expand the group by a lot. — Terry Garrett
Support a local business
I just started a Punk Rock Movie Club in my little town of Catskill, N.Y. I wondered if anyone would come. In less than a week, 55 people in the Hudson Valley signed up to be members. It supports the theater that has reopened and gives me an opportunity to share my guilty pleasure and build a tribe of enthusiasts. — Jenny Toomey
Send them snail mail
My favorite hobby is snail mail. I send over 200 letters and packages every year. I have a huge stash of supplies: cards organized by sentiment, a crate of fun things I can throw inside the card and a giant collection of stickers.
It's a calming and fun activity, and it sincerely has led me to remain connected with people I otherwise would have completely lost touch with. — Mandy McGee
Thank you to those who emailed us with your responses for this callout. Stay in touch with Life Kit and sign up for our newsletter. You'll get a weekly dose of expert advice on health, money, relationships and more.
The story was edited by Malaka Gharib. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
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